किस कशमकश में अपने आप को पाता हूँ मैं...

किस कशमकश में

अपने आप को पाता हूँ मैं,

जो नहीं करना चाहता

वो कर जाता हूँ मैं.

कुछ न कहकर

खूद से मूखर जाता हूँ मैं,

हर मोड़ पे क्यो

खूद को अकेला पाता हूँ मैं.

वो हसीं लम्हें

वो सुहावना सफर

इन्हें कभी भूलाना नहीं चाहता हूँ मैं,

फिर भी उन बातों और वादों से

दूर भाग जाता हूँ मैं.

ए जिंदगी मूझे तू समां ले

मुझे फिर खूल के जीने का चाह दे,

फिर अपने भूलाये शक्स को

जिवित करना चाहता हूँ मैं,

अपने रूह और देह को

फिर मिलाना चाहता हूँ मैं.

In the land of Gandhi, what ails thee my country......By Robert Clements

A sharp cry of anguish, an avalanche of tears, head thrown back in deep torment and burly figure on hospital wheelchair, shoulders slumped, weeps, not out of pain from broken, bandaged limbs, not of humiliation undergone in ashram built by loving hands but out of remembrance of a woman’s cry that echoes on and on and on in priestly head, “Father what, did I do?”
“Father what did I do?” shrieks Rajnee Majhi as cruel hands light fire, same that have just ravished her, now fan flames that leap out to her just as their lust filled bodies did few moments ago. They watch as young girl they have gang raped now cries out in terror as yellow blaze engulfs broken bruised body and carry her away towards welcome death.
“Yes!” cries weeping priest on wheelchair in Mumbai hospital, flown in from riot ravaged Orissa, “What did she do to deserve thus? Every morning, she gathered the little orphan children from my ashram around in our little backyard and my compound rang with chants of ‘Om Shanti Om” as she prayed for peace to the gods we never tried to change her from worshipping. “What did she do, to be gang raped and burnt to death, my little Rajnee Majhi, my little Rajnee!” sobs burly, broken priest. “All she did was serve humanity!”
Yes what did they do to deserve such? The question rings on as I see other two priests, one lying still on stretcher, trembling to recollect rods of iron, gouged, beaten, bloodied, left to die in jungle. The other with still cherubic face but eyes swollen with tears of how mobs lit fire to roast him alive, then found fire too quick a way to die, paraded him half naked through village street, beating frail shoulders that till then gave strength and solace to same people who hacked and heckled as they broke and busted same bones.
“What ails thee my country?” I whisper.
These men taught love, not through “conversion” rhetoric, nor whipping words, but with hands, heads, hearts that worked with cast out tribals, villagers, educating, teaching, uplifting so they could take their rightful place in a country that world proclaimed as "shining."
Was it wrong to teach them to glow with the rest of us?
What ails thee my country? What makes a Chief Minister educated abroad, an impotent bystander, not lifting a finger to protect, but hiding like a Nero behind political apathy?
If today you and I read and write this foreign tongue called English, not so foreign to us, it’s because same men and women labored to teach us in school and college, we, or our fathers attended. Why have we started turning on them, why are we allowing a Rajnee to be raped, burnt, why?Such attacks don’t stop with Christian bashing, Muslim bashing, Hindu bashing, they lead on to Brahmin bashing, non- Brahmin bashing, and ah haven’t we seen…North Indian, South Indian, Marathi, non- Marathi bashing!
And in some list they’ll find your name.
What ails us? Isn’t it time we stand, we shout “Enough?” Before we find haunting voice crying “What did we do?” is ours!

A rendezvous with…

One day as I stood at the bus stop a guy came up to me. The man was disheveled, had a coarse beard with mud streaks across his face and stains over his clothes. However, there was one thing quite astonishing of him. When he approached me there was a strange feeling, a cold n soothing sensation within my entire body. It brought about a sense of calmness and equanimity that I had seldom experienced before. The conversation that we had was as follows:
The Man: Could you direct me to this place? (Handing what seemed like a visiting card).
It read:
Above yourself, within your Heart
Beyond the worldly pleasures,
Can you tell me the place where
You will be mine, solely to treasure.
- The Almighty

I surmised this man had a spiritual inclination and asked him.
Dandy: Do you think God loves me and everyone else so much, that he is bothered about when I will find time for him?

The Man: My dear, He loves you beyond that you could ever imagine. His heart is always thirsting for his creation. Though a mother may leave her own child, He won’t forsake you.

Dandy: But why, I don’t worship him like the priests do, chanting his name and spending their time in pious acts. I hardly make it to the temples, churches or mosques.

The Man: (He smiles) When did God say to just keep worshiping his idol and chanting his name. Let me tell you a story (and He began to narrate one)
Once there was a priest who spent his days chanting the Lord’s name and worshipping him. He would do nothing else, but praise the Lord. One day God appears before him and the man in curiosity asks, “Who is your greatest devotee?” expecting his name as the answer. The lord tells him, “My son, go to the village called shrampur, ten kilometers to the north, there you would find him. “ The priest set off instantly. On reaching the village, he saw a farmer, about to begin his work early in the morning. The farmer took the Lord’s name once, recited his prayer and started his day. He toiled hard ploughing and watering his land. At the end of the day, he again invoked the Lord’s name and set forth to his home.
Now the priest returned back and asked God, “This farmer takes your name just twice in a day, then how do you call him your devotee?” God said, “Now you take this pot full of water and travel ten kilometers to the east. However, remember that if you drop even a single drop of water, I would never listen to your prayers.” The man obeyed without saying a word. He diligently, held the pot and made sure that not even a drop spilled. On returning back, God asked him, “Did you remember me when you were carrying out this task?” The man replied in the negative. Then God said, “The farmer remembered Me even when he lives a hard life, trying his best to meet ends and support his family of five. He began and ended his work by My name and you didn’t even think about it. That makes him a special devotee for his sincerity in worship.

Dandy: Hmm.. I get your point. What does God want from me?

The Man: It’s simple, God is love and all he wants in return is Love. Love for everyone, people you know and whom you don’t. Those who matter and those who don’t. He wants you to see him in the poor, the needy, the down trodden, the afflicted, the shambled, the broken, the lonely and the oppressed. The senile, the deprived, the disabled and the dejected. God doesn’t distinguish between skin. For him the black, the white, the yellow and brown are all alike. They all hold the same place in His heart. He has carved each of our names in His hand and loves each one dearly. The reason he made one poor, the other rich, is not by chance but for a specific purpose. Look son, have you ever thought about it, you were born healthy into a well to do family. You never faced situations like not having your meal to eat, short of money for your education or had to sleep on the streets. Now look at Madhav, on the other side of the road. The bloke is 14, and there hasn’t been a day he has had two proper meals. He is sharp but doesn’t have the resources to make it beyond the 4th grade. He toils day and night to support himself and his little sister. Now do you think God doesn’t love him? God didn’t give him that life because Madhav had sinned in some other life of his. No way. He gave him such a life because God in his infinite goodness believed that He balanced it by creating someone like you. Yes, that’s exactly the purpose for which He created you with all the well being you enjoy, to share your joy and multiply it. What good is it in being good to your friends who themselves are well to do. Goodness blossoms only when it is directed towards those who don’t mean anything to you. Think about it.

Dandy: (with moisture…) I don’t have words to say. Well I hope I realize all that’s due from my side to this beautiful world. And one more thing, when can you say that man has attained salvation?

The Man: Like I just said when you love everyone, including your enemy, without even thinking twice. For a test, if you are able to clean the wound, feed the hungry and bathe the broken, you will see what you have never seen before.

Dandy: hmm…(And till date, I have never seen myself close to paradise than when I was blessed to clean , feed and bathe a very old man who was almost on the verge of his death in the temple centre of Kalighat in Kolkota.)

Having said that, the man’s face changed into the most angelic one I had ever seen. There were birds literally singing and the sun was brightly shining on Him. No disheveled clothes, no mud - all gone. All I saw was the most radiant face I had ever seen (the moment can’t be worded). And I knew this was not any ordinary person….it was HE!!!

ये ज़िंदगी...

ये भूख, ये महामारी

ये छल, ये कपट;

ये घटती हुई दिलदारी

ये नीच दिखाने की झपट.

आन्सुओ से भरा ये मुख

अकेलापन का ये गहरा दुःख;

किसका हाथ थामे हम

किसकी आड़ मैं छिपाए गम.

वक़्त ये चलता ही जा रहा

ख़ुद को चाह कर भी रोक नही पा रहा;

ये मैं किधर जा रहा

किसे मैं तलाश रहा.

कभी आंधी चल जाए

कभी खुशी की लहर आए और घट जाए;

कब कोई बिन कहे रूठ जाए

कब खुशियों की बौछार आए.

अनोखी है ये ज़िंदगी

हँसती भी, रुलाती भी;

जैसे भी है ये मस्त है

थम गया ये, तो मज़ा उध्वस्त है.